Bullying, criticism, shouting, undermining, power struggle? Read this

County Council Employee

Case history #106

I arrived in [a UK county council] as a confident, competent, motivated person, I was proud that I had got a new job and looking forward to the challenges ahead. I was under no illusion that it wouldn't be easy but I was full of idea and felt I could make a difference.

The reality was different, I was genuinely used to working in a fast paced environment and was unprepared for the bureaucracy surrounding how to get things done, I found I spent a lot of time sending stuff out and then waiting weeks or months to get the go ahead (if ever). My line managers were lovely people but not particularly competent at managing the human side if it and often my ideas were met with a list of reasons why I shouldn't do it rather than being empowered to give it a go and let me know if you need anything.

The effect on my psychological state was that I lost motivation, self esteem and self confidence, I did make some massive achievements and there have been many changes to the organisation as a result of my efforts, but these weren't always recognised by the people who wield the power to reward. Then I had a personal incident which put the tin hat on it.

Despite all this, with the aid of an excellent network of friends and therapists I pulled myself round, got myself a temporary promotion and I felt "at last this is it, I'm on my way". I was wrong; my troubles were only just beginning. The project was difficult to get off the ground; I did everything in my power to plan and influence, but perhaps was too honest about what I was actually achieving. The timing wasn't good and I got caught up in a power struggle between two bullies who were jockeying for position in our new organisational structure. They came out of it fine, I on the other hand was put back into a job that had become a source of stress and distress for me, I was clear about why I felt this way and why, but the outcome was not affected.

My project was terminated early along with my temporary promotion and I was transferred to a new manager and subjected to a bullying style of management the likes of which I had never experienced before. In the guise of being helpful I was told that this was a fresh start for me and he had no preconceived ideas about me and my past (why should he, I was always a high performer). I was told there were ways and means for me to get what I wanted from him! I was accused of being a maverick; he demanded my loyalty (I told him he needed to earn it). My appraisals and stock-takes where a battle of wills where he criticised and chipped away at me and I counter attacked, then I was accused of being defensive. I was denied opportunities because of my mental state, I was told I wasn't such a threat as I though I was ñ I said thanks I didn't know I was a threat at all, these are the things I registered and remembered there were more.

At the time I was on a mentoring programme and I am eternally grateful to my mentor who was the voice of reason and when I discussed these incidents with him he helped me see the positive side, such as being called a maverick meant I was a self starter who needed minimum supervision. He also acknowledged that I was in conflict with my line manager, but was wise enough not to advise me on any course of action.

Despite this I kept performing and my manager did manage to say he was pleased with the results I was achieving, but still felt it was his duty to develop me as a person. I wrote to him to complain about my appraisal, saying I found the personal nature of his comments were not appropriate and asking him to stick to facts about my work. Once again he turned this round to him trying to help me to become reflective about me and my performance ñ there was no evidence to show I wasn't, in fact I am very self aware and reflective, he just never bothered to find out.

Then I was transferred to another manager, a new high flyer tipped for the top, someone who he knew was going to get him the recognition he felt he deserved and turn his visionary ideas into reality. She was going to teach me how to plan projects (again on the assumption that I didn't know how already, despite evidence to the contrary if he'd bothered to ask for it). I don't know what he said to her about me but eventually things came to a head. By now I was a wreck, emotionally and physically, I was run down, plagued with cold sores, not sleeping on tablets for anxiety, sick all the time, crying all the time and wanting to go to bed for ever. I caught every bug going and was constantly ill.

I was intimidated and bullied by my new line manager who was over managing me, setting me tasks, telling me how to achieve them and not listening to me when I suggested why it might not work. I was making mistakes and living on the edge. Finally I produced a piece of work she wasn't happy with and she started shouting at me, told me I wasn't competent to do my job, that I needed psychological help, a therapist and quick. She wrote to me saying I had stated I had voices in my head  - nope I am neurotic not psychotic, that my emotional reactions to situations were over the top, that I had made mistakes and not met deadlines (the deadline for the particular piece of work hadn't been missed). This letter arrived on the Friday night before I was due to fly to Australia for 3 weeks, nice timing!

Once again I am lucky, my union rep is a friend and I took the letter straight to him to reply on my behalf in my absence. An articulate man he was able to point out some of my concerns about the letter and requested my right to respond to the accusations. The effect on my line manager was staggering, she was hurt and surprised at the union intervention, and she was after all trying to help me. I was sent to speak to occupational health.

On my return from the holiday I went to see the occupational health doctor, he read out my line managers referral which said many of the things in the letter to me, including the statement about voices. I told the doctor my story. He said "Karen you are completely normal", I thanked him because I was beginning to wonder, I cried with relief. His report to my line manager was that I was completely normal and that the effects she described were a direct result of lack of management support

I met with the manager with my union rep in attendance. I confronted my line manager, systematically going through the letter and explaining why the accusations weren't true. I told her I felt intimidated by her behaviour, that I felt she was shouting at me through a megaphone. I said I felt like a car being driven with one foot on the accelerator and the other on the break. She asked me how I wanted her to change, I said talk to me calmly and quietly, be specific about what you want and leave me to get on with it, stop changing the goal post. My union rep reminded her of my achievements and competence in the past. She insisted that she was trying the help me, I said I didn't find it helpful, she was smothering my and mothering me and I didn't need a mother thanks. The meeting took 2 ¾ hours, I don't think she was prepared for what came out of it.

To be fair on her, she took things on board and changed her style towards me, she suggested that I have a 3rd party present in meetings with her and agreed a 6 month review period. After this I got on with my job and returned to the level of performance I expected of myself. Again I had the support of a counsellor who helped me through the first couple of months. Eventually I saw a cognitive therapist, he's given me strategies to cope with the psychological damage inflicted on me by my workplace, and acknowledged that I am normal, my reaction are those anyone would have had in the same situation.

So where am I now? I feel labelled as weak and having a mental instability, the male manager is still in the background and I am convinced he is still blocking my progression. My female manager is Ok with me, but I can never completely trust her and occasionally when she gets stressed she resorts to her old behaviour. I have recognised that she is needy and she says she depends on my support, she has thanked me for it and said that I could have hung her out to dry. In short I have been rescuing her, having recognised this I have stopped and am making sure I meet my own needs first. I am open to a point and am able to articulate what I am thinking and feeling without being emotional. I think they find the new me even more intimidating than the one they bullied as when I do say what's on my mind they don't really argue with me. I have become more skilled at handling interpersonal conflict, although I am still working hard not to take things personally and not to have a panic attack when she wants to see me.

But I'm not happy in this work environment, I don't feel safe, I don't feel I am recognised for my achievements and I feel held back because I have had problems in the past. I am planning on raising this with my manager and stating that I am congratulating myself on how far I have travelled in a year. That I have taken steps to overcome the psychological damage I have suffered here in [county council] and that I want this to be the end of it. My main aim is to maintain my self esteem and I refuse to hand it over to bullies, cowards and incompetents. But I also recognise that I am scarred by this experience and that I am still on the road to recovery.

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